A blind man wanders into an all girls biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee.

After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the server, "Hey, you want to hear a blond joke?"

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is only fair -- given that you're blind -- that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blond girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blond girl.
3. I'm a 6 foot tall, 175 lb. blond woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blond and a professional weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is blond and a professional wrestler. Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still want to tell that joke?"

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, "No... Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

President Obama and the Canadian PM are shown a time machine which can see 50 years into the future. They both decide to test it by asking a question each.

President Obama goes first: "What will the USA be like in 50 years' time?"

The machine whirls and beeps and goes into action and gives him a printout, he reads it out: "The country is in good hands under the new president, Jose Fernandez.... crime is non-existent, there is no conflict, and the economy is healthy. Vice President Jin Tao has declared Chinese language mandatory in all USA schools There are no worries."

The Canadian PM thinks, "It's not bad, this time machine, I'll have a bit of that" so he asks: "What will Canada be like in 50 years' time?"

The machine whirls and beeps and goes into action, and he gets a printout. But he just stares at it.

"Come on, David," says Obama, "Tell us what it says?"

"I can't! It's all in Punjabi!"

Eng`men: I've 10 kids, 1 more and I'll have a Football team.
American: I've 14 kids, 1 more and I'll have a Rugby team.
Arabian: I've 17 wives, 1 more and I'll have a Golf course.

Compromising with your women doesn't mean you are wrong and she is right. It only means that everyday sex is more important than your ego.

Santa while walking in a mall was busy scratching his balls.
Banta: What happened?
Santa: You also do it. Look at that poster "Scratch and win BMW!

बंता: औरत की उम्र आदमी से ज्यादा क्यों होती है?
संता: खरीददारी करने वाले को कभी हर्ट अटैक नहीं पड़ता, परन्तु बिल चुकाने वाले को जरुर पड़ता है!

बंता: कुत्ते शादी क्यों नहीं करते?
संता: क्योंकि वो पहले से ही कुत्ते की जिन्दगी जी रहे होते हैं!